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Jerome Engelberts has a long-standing track record of achievements that border on the incredible, and rival the accomplishments of people such as Oppenheimer, Gandhi, Dali, and Einstein. Born exactly on his birthday (high precision for an infant!) he was immediately able to communicate his disenchantment with hunger. Things progressed rapidly from there on. As a toddler, Jerome flourished in such skills as sand castle building (see: Library Of Congress: "Mud Piles That Won't Quit), Bullying other children (he wrote the definitive textbook on the topic, "dislocating shoulders for Fun and Profit"), and ran a neighborhood drug ring dispensing illegally made "bathtub" Children's Grape Flavored Tylenol in local kindergartens. As a teenager he quickly surpassed his schoolteachers, and became a Harvard Alumnus at age 12, majoring in Bovine Excrement. Turning down a job offer from Billy Gates ("he was working on a user interface for the common Abacus at the time, and I knew he would never make dollar one"), he got elected Pope (Constipatius the First). During his short tenure (about 12 minutes) he advocated leniency on the Celibacy laws of the Catholic Church, but quickly became disenchanted with Vatican hierarchy.
He turned to computer science, and invented the PineApple computer, but was rapidly defrauded of his invention. His relationship with former friends and cohorts
Wobs and Jozniak remains strained. His next venture involved an OS targeted specifically at the clergy (Stained Glass Windows '87), which oddly enough sold well only to Amish customers, who continue to use the product.
After an interim career as Antichrist ("there is really no sense in competing with Billy Gates"), he found a rewarding opportunity in furthering the cause of Insight Development, a young, dynamic company that develops such products as "Zip Up The Fly"; Hot Off The Griddle, and of course their award winning program "Squabble" which turns ordinary business correspondence into offensive heaps of festering pus and verbal abuse.
Jerome Engelberts may be reached at the State Home for the Relentlessly Silly. Thank you.
- Seriously folks:
- Born in Arnhem and raised in Amsterdam, The Netherlands, Jerome moved to sunny California in 1992. Since his arrival here immigration laws have tightened, and diplomatic relations with Holland are currently somewhat strained. The Dutchies won't take him back. In daily life, Jerome is a graphic designer and writer, and designs packaging and advertising in the software industry and writes content for marketing materials. It goes without saying that he also designed the graphics on this BeeZerk web site. Jerome also likes to write about his drab, wretched life in the Sunol Community News, a newspaper from, and about, Sunol.
- When not slaving away at the Macintosh, Jerome can be found playing the one of his sizeable collection of guitars with Nightmare On Bourbon Street, and the Sheiks of R&B a snappy Rhythm and blues Band. Jerome also teaches guitar through the Good Stuff Guitar Store in Martinez.
- And lastly, but not leastly, in his spare moments, which are predictably few, Jerome transmogrifies into Dr. Otis Leroy von Lugihocken, a meandering chronicler of bovine excrement, whose prose has been published in The Simpsonian, and, more recently, The Sunol Community News. You can send Jerome email at beezerk@beezerkcom
- Born in Arnhem and raised in Amsterdam, The Netherlands, Jerome moved to sunny California in 1992. Since his arrival here immigration laws have tightened, and diplomatic relations with Holland are currently somewhat strained. The Dutchies won't take him back. In daily life, Jerome is a graphic designer and writer, and designs packaging and advertising in the software industry and writes content for marketing materials. It goes without saying that he also designed the graphics on this BeeZerk web site. Jerome also likes to write about his drab, wretched life in the Sunol Community News, a newspaper from, and about, Sunol.